Luckily the new Facebook design is “opt-in” because I have a hard time navigating the change. Of course I still type the url “thefacebook.com” out of habit from a time when I used the site for purely sarcastic endeavors.
One of the changes that makes me feel unexplainably uneasy is the yellow-highlighted phrase in “Friends>recently updated” which now reads “quotations” instead of “quotes.” There’s nothing wrong with the semantics of the replacement — but there was nothing wrong with the original word choice either.
In honor of my discomfort, I’d like to share some of my favorite, terribly cliche [the] facebook quot[ation]s, with these apologies in mind:
+ I’m sorry if I misquoted anything below. I copied everything directly from facebook profiles to maintain the historical accuracy of new media
+ I’m sorry if I took a quote from your profile, or used a quote that is on your profile. Hopefully this does not offend you, because it just means that you’re representative of these times. I know I am; blog blog blog.
“All I have to say is… I’ve learned one thing and that’s to quit worrying about stupid things. You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax…work is for people with jobs. You’ll never remember classtime, but you’ll remember the time you wasted hanging out with friends. So stay out late, go out with your friends on Tuesday when you have a paper due on Wednesday, spend money you don’t have to, drink til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does.” — Tom Petty
“Okay, here it is, your choice… it’s simple, her or me, and I’m sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.” — Grey’s Anatomy
“A good friend will tell you when you’ve had enough and cut you off. A best friend will take your keys and hand you another”
“I believe in pink, I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” — Audrey Hepburn
And to be fair, I’ll share the quotes on my page currently:
“Comic Sans is the David Brent of typography.” — Ian Peacock
“Sweet, sweet lou reed.” — Stephen Malkmus
“Can you see if my sister is coming?” — Matthew Friedberger
and, although it is in the “About me” section…
“Lend me some sugar — I am your neighbor.” — André Lauren Benjamin (aka André 3000)
And finally, just for kicks:
“I’m not superstitious . . . but I am a little stitious.” — Michael Scott
