The Holidays Are Approaching

In honor of the holiday season, I give you: Ridiculous Old Ads Involving Alcohol

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 AM

I’m trying this new thing — waking up at 5 am.

Actually, I’m trying this thing that I’ve been trying since I was in middle school (some of you call it junior high).

I love the idea of waking up at 5 am. Getting my day started with a run (although I can no longer run due to soccer injuries) and then having a good chunk of productive waking daylight in front of me.

So I should be asleep right now, but this is my “fight the jet-lag” night where I have to give-in to the alarm after 5 hours of sleep.

And its this day that always gets me. I usually fail before I can even get started — and I’ve tried too many times to count — so its about time to break through the “30-days-until-its-a-habit” routine.

“Virginia Slims presents the 1882 ladies’ home physical culture course. 

Strengthens inner arms and chest. Practice once daily to and from feed store.

Develops dainty neck and shoulders. Should be practiced with eight gallons of water twice daily or as horses need.

Firms and lifts chest, neck and thighs. Practice weekly on Mondays.

Reduces waist, develops calves. Practice once a week or as needed.

Reduces hip and makes arms supple. Practice weekly for six hours or until walls are clean.

You’ve come a long way, baby.

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined That Cigarette Smoking is Dangerous to Your Health“

It’s a scientific fact!

Today’s Four Roses

Ad Copy:

A brief conversation with a man going places

US: Sir, we don’t know where you’re bound, but we presume that sometime in the course of the evening, you’ll have a drink.

MAN: Yes, I probably will.

US: Then we’d like to ask you a question. Have you tasted today’s Four Roses?

MAN: Come to think of it, I don’t believe I have.

US: Then we’d like to urge you to try it tonight. Because until you taste today’s Four Roses, you can’t possibly know what wonderful thinks have happened to this superlative whiskey. In fact, we’re certain you’ll agree that today’s Four Roses is better by far than any other whiskey you’ve ever tasted.

MAN: That’s a rather broad statement.

US: We’re aware of that. But, you see, we’ve been making fine whiskies for 77 years. And we sincerely believe that in all that time no whiskey we have ever made or known could match the flavor-rich magnificence of today’s Four Roses. You’ll find this superb whiskey practically everywhere you go. Won’t you try it?

MAN: I most certainly will.

US: Thank you, sir. And a pleasant evening to you!

Four Roses is a blend of straight whiskies —90 proof. The straight whiskies in Four Roses are 5 years or more old. Frankfort Distilleries, Inc., Louisville & Baltimore.

You’ve never tasted such a whiskey as today’sFour Roses!

Kleenex

Ad copy:

“I’m no Wrestler!


So when I learned about KLEENEX with its easy ‘pull-out’ box, I decided no more tussles with other tissues for me!

(from a letter by H. L., Davenport, la)

Roommate Wanted

My roommate, Annie, borrowed my last box of KLEENEX when I had a cold! So Annie doesn’t live here anymore!

(from a letter by M. T., Snowden, N.C.)

‘Tell me Another’ and win $5.00 — says KLEENEX*

We pay $5.00 for every ‘true confession’ we publish on Kleenex* disposable tissues. Mail yours to Kleenex 919 N Michigan Ave., Chicago”

Nash!

 

Copy:

 

“This New Kind of Car Goes 25 to 30 Miles on a Gallon! At highway speed!

Important! You can still buy a Nash for only one-third down, balance in 18 months — your present car may cover, or will apply at full trade-in value, on the down payment.

Thrifty! Over 500 Miles on a Tankful

Smooth sailing on 4 Wheel Coil Springs!

Fast as a pole pony in Pickup, Steering

And you get the best of everything in the big, 1942 Nash that’s in the lowest-price field!

Here’s news to gladden your heart — a way to ‘save your way’ through the new year, and actually enjoy it.

Just take this big, handsome Nash out on the highway and see how it’s done.

Watch it tick off those measured miles — 25 to 30 on a gallon of gas . . . at the rate of 500 to 600 miles on a tankful!

Amazing? Yes — but you haven’t seen anything yet! This big Nash scampers through traffic like an All-American half-back going into action. Rides the curves like a locomotive. Streaks over winter ruts as serenely as a gull clipping the waves.

While there you sit — your hands barely moving on the wheel — enjoying the fresh May warmth of a Nash Conditioned Air System.

Everything you see and feel tells you it’s a new kind of car. New in its welded unit body-and-frame. New, with its Two-way Roller Steering. New, with a ‘Sedan Sleeper’ Bed for trips.

Here’s everything you ever hoped to see in an automobile — in a low-price Nash! Built to serve you, and save you money throughout the coming years, as only a Nash can do.

Because of rising costs and uncertainty about the future, choosing the right new car is mighty important. Make it a good one. Make it a Nash, the best investment on the road.

See your Nash dealer today and go for a ‘Conditioned Air’ ride, in this new kind of car.”

post #3 and already behind

Sundays are for ads, so here’s one from an old issue of Betty Crocker’s Sphere magazine.