The secret lives of Internet personas

I just left an online community because of its overwhelming anger.

I felt afraid to be part of it due to the hostility I read in the “voices” of a few members. There was no threat of physical harm, of course, but the lack of acceptance made me just as uncomfortable as any tet-a-tet I’ve witnessed in “real life.”

And it doesn’t even matter.

These people will never meet each other in “real life”, so why should they worry about respect or social dignities. Just as easily as they raised their anonymous voices, I sheepishly shuffled out the back door. 

I’m glad I could get out so easily, but it left me uncertain why my judgement lapsed enough that I would join a community full of people I would never voluntarily spend time with in person.

Or would I?

It’s quite possible that these angry Internet voices are coming from the friends — er . . . acquaintances that I don’t know quite enough about. Those people who’s social graces fall by the wayside when no one will ever have a name to call them behind their back. The secret lives of Internet personas, left static in cyberspace while we’re off going about our physical duties, but waiting for whatever whim might send us into anger, tears or helpfulness.

So how does a new generation form personal identities in so many places?

It was enough while I was growing up (in the last Freshman class entering college before the facebook, myspace, and social networking boom) to figure out who I was, what I stood for and how I could aptly portray that to the world around me. But if I had to figure out who I was in school and who I was in an online community . . . well, maybe it would have been easier. I wouldn’t have to “keep up appearances.” If something in my “real life” made me angry, I could take it out on my virtual friends. 

I certainly wouldn’t feel bad doing so because I’d never have to make eye contact with them — never have to see their face wrench up before they burst into tears.

And instead of seeing it myself (with the possible side-effect of feeling guilty for causing a person such upset), the virtual friends would be hiding away in their room with a razor in hand, ready to take out the pain an anonymous community member caused them. 

So how do we go about teaching this trial generation of youth who have killed, injured, starved and tormented themselves over bullies they encounter in real and virtual life? Where does new media etiquette come from? How can websites be blocked from children who know more about the software and web servers than their parents?

We know it’s happening, but we still buy them the Blackjacks and the iPhones.

I’m just a childless 23 year-old MA student who left an online community because I felt people were being bullied. 

I had the sense to leave when I felt uncomfortable, but will they?

Ask your mother.

“Ask your mother.

She’ll tell you there’s never been any cookware that compares. The even-heating aluminum-clad bottoms, the gleaming easy-to-clean stainless steel and durability that bridges generations. That’s Faberware. We took the words right out of her mouth.”